Sunday, August 9, 2009

A Time to Say GOODBYE

Prelude: This a very special post. I am hoping that maybe on it's way through the internet my Dad will see it.

On Friday August 7th at 12:15 pm the first man of my life, My Dad went to heaven while all of those who LOVED him were at his bedside when he drew his last breath. I am so greatful for Dr Michael Smith who let him die with diginity and the way he wanted. He didn't play on our sympthies to keep doing things that was not going to really fix the problem. To the nurses of CVICU at Bapist Hospital who for the most of the last 30 days of his life took great care of him and made him as comfortable as possible. Especially Nichole the nusre who was on duty for his finial hours. I pray that she will find comfort too as this was her first time losing a patient. She did it with such grace and she shedded a few tears( which to me meant that she had compassion for her patients). While waiting that morning the housekeeper who had been cleaning his room came by and gave me a big hug and told me she really liked Mr Murphy. God places people where they need to be.

Durning the last few sleepless nights I have many thought and memories flooding back. Since I was to be a Michael but was a Michelle I got to share his middle name Ray.(now I was not real found of it as a young child now it means the world to me.) The fishing trips,(he was with me when I won the fising rodeo) camping trips, him being one of my scout leaders, playing jacks and cards,(he played to win and I played to talk) even the time that I sat on the front porach all afternoon waiting on him to spank me because I did what he told me not to. The Christmas that money was tight and he built my sister and I a kitchen set that our kids have gotten to play with. The pride he had when all the grandbaies were born. All the times he let me peddle along his side. Since he did let me do this I now have the ability to do fix things, create things and dream up projects to conquer and no fear too. I will miss having him to call to discuss on how to do things and this could take us hours to get them worked out. I really enjoyed my Dad days when he came over and spent the day just peddling(oh I mean fixing things). Him calling around Thanksgiving and having me pick up Mom's gifts for Christmas. The few gifts that he bought me himself. The Valentines cards that he sent just because I was his little girl even still in my 40's. Well I could go on for hours and those close to me over the next few weeks might just have to tell me that it enough Dad stories. I am not saying that all of the memories of the last 43 years were great but they are MY memories of the MOST SPECIAL MAN IN my life my DADDY!!

So Daddy I know that you are in a better place and with your family that has gone on before you. I know that you are not laying in that most uncomfortable bed that you had to endure for the last 29 days and all the poking of needles. I am so glad that you can breath with out a struggle and your heart is beating in a regular beat again. As we prepare to say good bye to your earthly body on Wednesday with all your family and friends. Which I am sure will be many as you were so loved by many. Hey Uncle Jack is even coming. I want you to know that if you are watching you will see tears they will be sad tears for those left behind and joyous tears for you because are in a better place and waiting on us. I truly hope that while watch over me in years I have left on earth I still make you proud of your Hot Rod! I know that I have given some grief over the years but I hope that I gave you some proud moments too. As you can by the picture above you are were loved by us all and you will be in your hearts FOREVER! So Daddy now that you are at rest and with your Heavenly Father all I can say is: I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU!!!

Michelle Raye Murphy(btw thanks for letting me have it back LOL)

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Not the Next Top Model

The other day I reconnected with my word for the year, which by the way is DISCOVER and it has been awhile since I thought about it. With the sleepless night the last 3 weeks I have had time to think about it. Okay I am sure you are wondering what the heck that has to to with the title. So here goes!

As most of you know I have had a battle with my weight for years and heck I just want to win it. Let me tell you I have tried almost diet out there and well as you know they don't work. So I started trying a few years ago to do better and learn how to eat and not do the fade diet thing. Then about a year ago I REALLY started DISCOVERING a better way to eat and still enjoy life. I have drop some weight and need to drop some more. But I am wanting to DISCOVER a healthier way of eating and exercise along the way. I learned that you can make better choices and they don't have to be major ones. Simple things add up and can help make a difference. I am not trying to get model thin but just trying to be healthier. I still have a ways to go and boy I have days that I want things that are not what I need to eat. Like that wonderful piece of french silk pie. I do treat myself occasionally and when I do I have DISCOVERED I enjoy it so much more than when I indulged daily.

I am also trying to get myself in shape to be able to run a 5k by the 2010. That is one of those bucket list things. I have always thought it would be fun to do so what better time than the present. I do walk every morning but am thinking I need to move on up with the big girls.

With all this said I have DISCOVERED that I don't want to be a the NEXT TOP MODEL I just want to be healthier!

PS: If you have any suggestions please feel free leave a comment.